Sex during pregnancy: sometimes you just don't feel like it! At other times, you can't wait to jump on your partner. But is sex when you are pregnant completely safe? And can ejaculation do any harm? We answer your sex questions!
Let us say first of all that sex during pregnancy is harmless in almost all cases. Your baby is protected by amniotic fluid, the uterus and the membranes. So there is absolutely no chance of damaging the baby. But there is a lot going on in your body, so do you feel like not having sex for a while? Then that is normal!
Why don't I feel like sex?
In the first few weeks of pregnancy in particular, your hormonal balance changes dramatically. All of a sudden, you suffer from all sorts of ailments: you feel nauseous, terribly tired and your painful breasts don't exactly make you want to have sex. The fact that your sense of smell becomes stronger and you may even find that your partner smells is not exactly conducive to attraction either. It's annoying for your partner, but that's how it is. Explain to your partner how you feel and why you just don't feel like it. It probably won't stay that way for nine months and your libido will return after the first trimester of your pregnancy.
Why do I feel like sex so much?
Your sex life should become a lot more fun after about four months. You feel better and you are suddenly enthusiastic about sex again. This is because the nipples, labia and clitoris are well supplied with blood and are stimulated very quickly. Sex can be more pleasurable than before. It is possible, for instance, that you come easier and more violently and that you have sexual dreams at night and fantasies all day long. Enjoy it, we say!
Did you know that you come easier and more intensely during your pregnancy? This is due to the good blood circulation in your labia and clitoris.
Sex is not possible because of my big belly
Your belly is growing enormously and during the last three months of your pregnancy you suffer from new complaints. The chances are that you still feel like having sex because of the good blood circulation, but it can be a bit more difficult with your big belly. Fortunately, there are plenty of options! For example:
- You on top - Maybe a bit heavy for your partner, but it works
- On the edge of the bed - you on the edge of the bed with your legs spread, your partner on his knees in front of the bed
- On your lap - Have your partner sit on a chair and face or back away from him.
- Spooning - this will work no matter how fat your stomach is!
Getting off during pregnancy
Do you normally don't come, or you don't come as quickly, and now it happens automatically? This is related to your pregnancy! Ejaculation can also feel different when you are pregnant. It may be very intense and fine, or it may be a little too sensitive. But don't worry, it can't hurt the baby and it can't cause a miscarriage. You may experience a hard belly after the orgasm, but this too is harmless and lasts no more than a few hours. Are you worried that you will induce premature contractions when you come? No worries, this is not the case if your pregnancy is going smoothly and you are not at an increased risk of a premature birth. The contractions of an orgasm and contractions during labour are very different, even though they may feel like light contractions. So just enjoy the sex, because your baby will not be affected. In fact, the hormones released after ejaculation have a positive effect on your baby! It is said that sex can induce labour after the due date has passed, but this has never been proven. But you can always try!
My partner does not want sex
It can be very frustrating. Your hormones are raging and your partner has completely ignored you in the bedroom since you became pregnant. Does he find you unattractive now that you've put on weight? He'll come up with lots of excuses: tired, a headache, not in the mood. Eventually, the cat will out of the bag: it's the pregnancy, what if something goes wrong with the baby because of sex? And what if the baby is experiencing the sex from inside the womb? After all, there are three of you nowadays. For a while, he no longer sees you as a sex object, but as the mother of his child. Once your partner has this feeling, it is difficult to talk him out of it. Emphasise that it really can't do any harm and that the baby won't notice anything. Doesn't it help? Then you will have to bite your lip. After the pregnancy, you can make up for the damage.
When is it better not to have sex?
When your midwife has warned you that it is better not to have sex. Everything for the safety of the little one!
If your partner turns out to have an STI, this can be dangerous for the baby!
We can't imagine that you would feel the need to have sex after your water has broken, but we definitely do not recommend it! The safe separation between your baby and the outside world is gone.
If you are bleeding, you should first discuss the cause with your midwife.
We already said it: if you have premature contractions, it may be better not to have sex. We would certainly advise against it for weeks before 37 weeks, as the baby is not fully grown yet.