Keeping a diary is not for me. I have started several times, but always to no avail. It started on my honeymoon when I realised that I really wanted to keep track of the process of becoming pregnant and bought the most beautiful notebook at a train station in Italy. I wrote in it exactly twice, because every sunbeam, drink or nice dinner looked more attractive and I didn't have time to write down my deepest feelings. Once I was pregnant, I started all over again; I wanted to cherish every day of my pregnancy - and that on paper. I wasn't a star at this either. When the fatigue and nausea set in, I quickly shelved the book and started watching Netflix.
This weekly column is doable - I can just about muster the discipline for it. And it is also my unsolicited advice for the week: try to write things down every week. If the pregnancy feels like it takes too long, you can see how fast it is going. Your ailments - and their intensity - can also change all the time, and by keeping track, you may also be able to put them into perspective. More things change than anyone else can see, and you don't always realise it yourself.
At the beginning of last week, I had a very special 13-week ultrasound and was over the moon about it. At the end of the week, I was spitting up on the toilet for the third time, while at the end of week 12, things were going so well that I stopped taking the Emesafene medication. So, mixed experiences are all part of the game. And now, we are already in week 14. It was a super special week because it was the week my godchild was born.
A birth is always an emotional event. Be prepared for an emotional rollercoaster when it is your godchild and you are pregnant yourself (hello, pregnancy hormones). An overdose of love, happiness, joy, and an even greater desire to hold your own child.
Besides the high point of the birth of the most peaceful little creature, so much misery is happening at the moment, many kilometres away. At a time of great sorrow for a country, one cannot help but sympathise deeply with the people in the midst of it all. And this creates a mental dilemma. On the one hand, you want to avoid stress and preferably turn off the TV to avoid everything, but on the other hand, you don't want to look away either.
In addition to grieving for other people, I notice that I am also confronted with my own fears of a possible war in my own country. This evokes an emotion that has not been there before. The feeling of wanting, no, having to protect. Whatever happens, I want to make sure that my baby grows up in a loving environment without dangers. You have no influence on this now, which doesn't do much good for my stress level. And around me, I see many (soon to be) mothers experiencing this as well.
All in all, week 14 is very eventful. See you next week! <3